25 Days of Listening to Your Heartbeat

This entire week I’ve woken up with a start in the middle of the night. You could say it was all the energy from the full moon but I’d rather attribute it to letting go of the past. When the subconscious processes on its own time I’m often caught off guard by what it offers me as a result. So at 4 am, when I wake up with my heart pounding and the sheets wrapped in a ball, it is here that I’m surprised by my own response. In previous times, when this would happen because of stress or anxiety, I would calm myself back to sleep by dreaming of someone else. I would use the power of my imagination to put myself into a place of being cared for, held and seen. But this week, it didn’t work. My old tricks and habits weren’t up to the task of soothing my restless heart and soul.

It was only when I imaged myself succeeding or smiling with great happiness that I felt my  heartbeat slow to its natural rhythm. It’s as though my heart understood that in order to produce calm and a worry free sleep, I needed to know that I was safe in my own hands. I could feel my nervous system responds to each heartbeat, the rhythmic pulsation a calming sensation. Since starting this challenge, I often find that I wake up with my palm across my chest, a self-soothing gesture long abandoned in childhood that has come back now to remind me how effortlessly I can take care of myself if I am in the state to listen and respond.

Have you ever listened to your heartbeat? Could you draw it out on a clean sheet of paper marking its dots and dashes? It’s quickened step at seeing someone you love? It’s slow, gentle pace when you’re in the state of contentment? This week on Day 25 I’ve been thinking about our heartbeats. They are special and designed perfectly for you. They run at a rhythm that dictates your life and while we may do our best to change its pace, we return to its original state each day. You see, try as we might to alter the fundamental piece within us – we always come home.

Just like your heartbeat, the way you love is wholly unique and personal to you. I know I’ve said this before but celebrate your love. What I mean by that is if you look back on your past and you feel yourself saying, “I’ve loved too much” or “I loved poorly” challenge yourself to change the perspective. What would it be like to look back on the past and say, I am so proud of the way I loved; the way I showed up for others and allowed my love to be the bridge between them and I. I am so grateful for the way I have loved because my heart has impacted others in a way that could only occur because it is my heart and it’s unique imprint deserves to be recognized and cherished. Don’t allow regret to trouble the heart. To regret how you have loved in the past criticizes how you heart loves in each moment of the day. Honor how you love. It can never be replicated by anyone else.