How to Heal a Heart - The 90 Day Challenge
How often do we dedicate our time and energy, our thoughts and intentions to others? Do you ever find yourself walking down the street and your thoughts drift to someone else who has done little to nothing to gain this amount of your attention? Consider what it would mean for you to retract that energy from them and instead refocus it back onto you. Would you feel whole again? Would you find that you are stronger, more focused and feel a foundation of stability beneath for your feet? When we dedicate all the time and energy that is meant for us, back to us, we suddenly make ourselves whole once again. It feels amazing to retract our energy from passively assigning it to others and instead reclaiming it as our own. Because remember, it was yours to begin with. You simply need to call it back home.
The act of calling yourself home is a doozy, let me tell you. When I first began this practice I was overwhelmed with how strong I felt after calling back each and every bit of my energy and filling myself with it once again. It was as though my heart had been operating at half of its capacity all these years. Once it was filled up again, I felt unstoppable. I felt physically stronger and clearer, as though I had been jolted awake. After this moment, I needed to consider where all of the energy tied to my love, care and affection had gone in the first place. The stereotypical answer would be that it had been taken by others. But then I realized that was incorrect. It hadn’t been taken by others. I had willingly given it away.
The act of giving our heart away is a practice that is preached from the moment we start believing in love. Listen to any major love song and you can hear the familiar refrain of one heart aching for another or of one heart not feeling whole until it has found its other half. We internalize the narrative that we become whole when we have someone else complete us. Were we missing something before?
Why do we need to wait for someone to complete us or “give away” our hearts in order to receive love? We begin life with one heart, a heart that is entirely our own. It has been designed specifically for us and understands the way we navigate the world. Why would we need to give that part of ourselves away and wait for it to be replaced by someone else when we had everything we needed to begin with? We are essentially portioning off our most vital organ and then we are surprised when we begin to feel less than.
The act of breaking off pieces or perhaps giving away our entire heart has left me (like many others I would guess) in a state of constant heartbreak. I don’t just mean the heartbreak that comes from having your heart broken by another. I mean the heartbreak that comes from realizing the entire time you were giving your heart away, you could have been showing it all the love, care and affection you showed to someone else. All those years of trying to be enough for others, all those times of making ourselves smaller or different or less than in order to receive one ounce of what we are actually deserving of - all of those years take a toll.
It’s time for our hearts to receive our attention once and for all. Much like the soul journey we have been on together, this heart journey is going to be fluid and exploratory. There is no right way to heal your own heart. It is a process of discovery that takes courage and a healthy dose of curiosity in order to get into alignment and stay there. What we are seeking is a way to stay within ourselves to such a level that even when a person shows up that you love, you don’t give your heart away. When that person shows up, your heart and theirs stay where they belong – with their original owner. You simply magnify the love you hold for each other to blend in the space between, creating something unique, new and wholly each other. A love like that, one that honors the beauty of independent people and celebrates the power housed in each person is a remarkable kind of love, one worth building once you have built it within yourself.
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