Job Hunt Anxiety

Job hunt anxiety is a whole separate form of anxiety because it makes us question who we are.

When we begin searching for a job, it's easy to hunt if we know the exact job we're looking for. But I think I've only ever met two people who fit in that category.

More often than not, when we begin looking for a new job we start evaluating alternative roles and industries. This search can stir up a lot of feelings because we start to wonder if we know what we're looking for.

We head down the rabbit hole of "who am I" and end up somewhere near, "oh god, is this what the next fifty years of my life look like?"

The reason the job hunt elicits such an identity crisis is because we may have never been thoughtful about choosing the right job for us in the first place. We may have chosen our jobs to fulfill other people's expectations or followed what we were told to do to a tee because it "makes the most sense."

I don't know about you but when I graduated college and started my first "real" job I had no idea what I wanted to do. I took the first role I was offered and stayed in the industry for eight years. I stayed despite the fact that the industry never felt right, despite the fact nothing really made sense to me and despite the fact that it crushed my soul on a daily basis.

I stayed, because I was took scared to find out who I would be if I left.

My identity had become so intertwined with my job title that the thought of separating the two left me paralyzed in fear. I didn't realize how often I introduced myself and went straight into what I did for a living. It made me feel better if people could understand my job. As if telling them I was a project manager would help them understand my personality. In retrospect, it did nothing but calm my fears and leave many people confused.

When I began thinking about switching industries it wasn't because I was ready. It was because I couldn't stand one more day in what I was doing. I knew I had to make a change and in doing so, I lost a major part of the identity I carried. In the beginning of my transition from a project manager to the world of psychology, I often felt lost. I would look to others to tell me who to be and what to do. It took almost a year for me to recognize that I was desperately trying to have someone tell me what expectations I should live up to.

If someone could tell me what to do, I would "make sense" again. But then something shifted. I began questioning what people told me. I took their well-meaning advice and instead of passively accepting it, I said "thank you" and went home to think about if their advice really applied to me.

When I took the moments to evaluate advice, I suddenly was able to say yes or no to everything that was said. I was also able to identify the skills that others saw in me and instead of passively accepting them as applied to certain roles, I challenged myself to apply them to roles I was interested in.

For example, I'm very organized. This is a great skill for a data entry manager. It's also a great skill for someone who runs their own business.

If you're unsure of who you are and what job is right for you, stop passively accepting advice from others as truth. Challenge yourself to decide if what they say makes sense for you.

No one on this earth knows you better than you know yourself. So try moving towards a space where you no longer require someone to validate that what you're doing for yourself is right.