Passing Down Fear in College

College is pitched as a time of excitement, finding yourself and growing up. Yet, college students get constant feedback that they have to either a) utilize college as a means to deciding their future or b) use college as a time to have fun and not worry about their future at all. With the stark difference in the messages they receive, it is no wonder that many college students experience an identity crisis at one point or another throughout their time at school. Students are encouraged to explore but have a reason; to gain insight but make sure they feel certain about how it impacts their future; to become someone which implies who they are already isn’t quite enough.

College students are receiving fear from others from the moment they step on campus. The fear that people work so hard to confront in later years is present from day one. With this in mind, is there any surprise that mental health is in a steep decline in the twenty-somethings age bracket? It may be because students have spent their time at school becoming so overwhelmed and afraid that they won’t get “It” right. “It” being a life worthy of recognition from others whether it be parents, friends, family or their new boss. “It” being a life they have created in order to receive constant validation from every external resource but void of internal contentment and peace of mind.

When we hand college students fear, we are perpetuating the cycle that so many of us have gone through. We are continuing to allow young adults to feel that they are not, will not and cannot be enough no matter how hard they try. We are sitting back and watching them burnout. So instead of continuing to let this cycle happen perhaps we should change it.

What would it be like for us to encourage students to embrace who they are right now and approach their futures with curiosity. What would it be like if we didn’t saddle students with shame and fear narratives? What would it be like if we encouraged universities to introduce guided resources for identity development? What would it be like if we let them grow, bloom and shine the way they were always meant to? On their own time and in their own way?

College is hard. Finding yourself and being yourself are equally as difficult. Let’s start helping the situation by ceasing to pass down our own fears to the new generation and allowing students to approach life with curiosity as opposed to fear.