Time to Acclimate
It’s an interesting thing isn’t it – to show up for yourself again and again even when you don’t want to or when there’s a different option on the table. We’re into the late twenties of this challenge and it seems that the options for turning towards someone else as opposed to back to myself are increasing tenfold. It’s almost as if the universe said, let’s make sure she’s really serious. With each trial and tribulation I can feel the strain between who I am now and the old habits that haunt my nightmares.
The habits, the effort and the skills I used to employ to gain attention don’t work anymore. It’s not because they don’t work on others. It’s more so that they no longer work on me. I’ve done so much work on who I am that I can no longer outsmart my authentic self. Every attempt I make at trying to go after something or someone not meant for me results in deliberate blocking from the universe. And for that, I am grateful.
Sometimes, we need a gentle or not so gentle push from the universe to realign with our highest selves. So instead of chastising myself for trying old things, I am getting curious about why I still do them. What I’ve determined is simple: if I am seeking something outside of myself, that means I am neglecting something inside of myself. Now this isn’t to say that what is outside of myself won’t benefit me. It very well may be something that is incredible and wonderful. But if I don’t challenge myself to figure out why I seek it in the first place, how can I understand how it will serve me?
When I conceptualize this with relationships, it changes how I few potential interactions. Instead of holding the mindset that others have something I don’t, I view it as I wonder what they bring to the table? What part of me is attracted to them and how does that specific thing fit into the larger picture of my life?
What you seek outside of yourself is an opportunity to feed what you seek inside of yourself. Each time you attune to you, you improve how you meet your own needs and refine what you seek from others. So if I feel called to seek out understanding from someone, the first thing I ask is – have I tried understanding myself? Perhaps the answer is no and I then have to dedicate time to understanding where I feel misunderstood and what has prevented me from fulfilling this need.
Say the answer is yes. Yes, I have tried understanding myself and I’ve met that need to the fullest of my abilities. If I still feel called outside of myself and I am leading with curiosity, I may notice that in interactions where I feel understood, the person who is in the dynamic with me does so in a way that is different from my own practice. If this is the case, not only can I receive understanding from them but I am also learning a new way to be understood.
We are in a constant state of learning when it comes to ourselves and especially on this heart challenge, it’s important to remember that interactions outside of us have the potential to be learning experiences if we understand how we enter them. Our hearts have so many years of experiences and the wisdom they hold about ourselves and others is a language we are gently learning how to read. So if you feel called outside of yourself, give yourself time. Sit down and intentionally listen to what it is that you seek. Embrace the notion that there is no rush to figure out how to heal your heart. With each day and each moment, you are rebuilding trust, intimacy and inner knowing – all of which are required in any healthy relationship. So why not make sure they are fully formed in the relationship between you and your heart?
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