What Does Your Heart Hear?
Hearts are not meant to be deprived. They are also not meant to be left alone. When we cast our hearts into the second tier of importance they learn over and over again that others’ hearts are more important. But how much further from the truth could this be? How could our most vital organ, the one that is designed to beat perfectly for us, be the one that is not meant to be taken care of with the utmost delicacy? Why is it that we cast our hearts back and as far away from us as possible as if there is something wrong with them and we simply cannot deal with it at the moment?
The criticism our hearts receive regularly can stem from a variety of sources but the result is still the same. The heart begins to feel that it’s not doing the job it’s been destined to do well. It learns how to love less, show up less and operate at a lower level simply because we continuously tell it to be less. After each heartbreak or experience that hurts, our hearts ache and what happens if the message it receives is always “please stop” or “this hurts too much.” In an effort to keep us safe, our hearts lower their vibration. They will continue to lower until we cue them to come back to their full potential. How can we expect our hearts to understand when it’s safe to come back out if we do not check in regularly and remind them that we’re still here and we still care?
When we check in with our hearts we begin to change the language with which we love ourselves. It’s as though we say, “I’ve had enough of how I speak to myself so let me change the words and the actions will follow”. When we change how we speak to ourselves about love, we will begin to raise our standard of care. We will also reunite our hearts with the mind, body, soul feedback loop we’ve so meticulously curated. This joint effort allows us to redefine the terms under which our heart has sought love. We will open ourselves up to new levels of love, light and abundance simply because we learned how to love ourselves first. We will have spent so much time attuning to what our mind, body and soul have signaled to us that we will begin to effortlessly call our love language back from the past. You see, when it comes to learning how to love yourself you are not creating something new. You are simply revisiting that which has been buried for far too long.
As you begin to uncover your love language you are subtly shifting how potential partners show up in the future. When a potential partner then comes around, they will no longer be guessing at how to love us – they will simply need to be able to listen to our love language and match it’s vibration. If you were to review your previous partners, perhaps there were moments where you struggled to give love or receive love with them. Are any of these moments because of a miscommunication? Are any of them because one or both of you felt misunderstood?
To be understood by someone else requires that you also understand yourself. We cannot ask someone to understand us if we too are also guessing at who we are and what we require. When we go back to the basics of self-love, we are intentionally creating a well of self-knowledge that can only benefit us in the future. This knowledge base, founded in an awareness of the mind, body and soul in combination with a heart’s love changes how we show up in the world and how our heart loves.
It's easy to slip into the mindset of regret for all of the years we didn’t love ourselves. It’s natural to review previous experiences and think “What if?” What if I had loved myself – would they have loved me differently? What if I was able to communicate what I needed? Would they have been able to provide it? If you find yourself slipping into this mindset I invite you to try not to regret your past. When I think about past loves, I don’t view them through the lens of regret. To do so would be to discount the effort my heart made to love even when I didn’t love my heart back. How could I regret the times my heart has had the courage to love? The notion that my heart has continued to love others even when I doubted if I loved myself is a remarkable feat. It speaks to the heart’s capacity to love in spite of our best efforts to prevent it from doing its job.
My heart’s capacity to love someone else is a testament to it’s commitment of fulfilling its role. You see, our hearts love even when we don’t nurture them; they love, even when we don’t pay attention to them. They love - no matter how little we love ourselves and continue to love even after we learn how to do so.
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